Spring will

Today was a day, of that none can dispute. Setting aside more national tragedies, which I didn't hear about until later because we were offline most of the day, it was a fun day and a hard day. I got to hang out with Ar, so that is always wonderful. I do love my every other Monday off!!

On the bummer side, I knew that the monthly reminder of my constant reproductive failure was coming soon, thanks to the heralding pimple. I was really hoping it would wait a bit, so that I wouldn't have to deal with it in Honduras. After all, it was almost two weeks early last month. Well, anyhow, it showed up today, a couple days earlier than I'd have thought. So that makes today CD 1, which makes me likely to have to deal with it in Honduras.

I know that some people think it strange that it's so hard for me. After all, every woman has to deal with such matters, and no one likes it. What's the big deal, right? It used to only be an uncomfortable nuisance for me. Now it's that and a whole lot more. No matter how much I know I'm not pregnant, no matter how bitter and jaded I often sound (or try to be), I still always secretly hope and dream, I can't help it. Though I'm less surprised nowadays, and more trying to accept, I'm still accidentally waiting for that miracle.

Constant failure.

Still, overall, I'm handling it pretty well today - and hopefully I will in Honduras. Well, that is as long as you consider bursting into tears in a Walmart aisle handling it well...  believe it or not, I do still consider that to be well handled. I have low standards, you see. Besides, I didn't have to ditch the cart and run out of the store sobbing like a maniac. I was able to proceed with the rest of our shopping. Ar was with me, so that helped a lot. 

So...  do you want to see what had the power to bring me down in a Walmart aisle?

C'mon, I know you do!!

So without any further ado.....   Garanimals! 

Aren't they adorable?  

We were there shopping for Honduras supplies, including some little gifts for some of the folks out there. One of our primas (cousins) was particularly kind and helpful when we were there last, so I wanted to get a couple extra little gifts for her and her new(ish) little one. Shopping for little ones is always really hard for me - and most IFers. Shopping for little ones during CD 1 is really, really, really hard. Really! 

It's especially so when there are a couple adorable little ones in the aisle with us. Sigh, and I had to ask their mom for sizing advice, since I have no idea what size shoe a 16 month old wears. I wish I did. 

Soooooo many cute things. Little, tiny shoes...  Oh can anyone resist such cuteness?  

I wish I had a kid to buy cute little sandals for...

Cue the tears.

I know it's silly. I'm weak and silly. 

However, I accomplished the task without humiliating myself (mom and the little ones had moved on already). There have been times in the past I wasn't able to do so. So I'll add it to the win column. I take what I can get.

On the bright side, it helped me to just decide on these particular tiny shoes, which were just too cute, rather than pondering for very long, which I have a habit of doing. Plus, Ar was there to help me not totally break down. 

On the brighter side, I also got myself a pair of fun little flops. I got this same pair for our prima, as well as a pretty top and some blingy sandals. 

And we got a whole lot of other necessities, so I think we're pretty well prepared for Honduras. C'mon sandflies - I double dog dare you to come after my DEET covered ankles this time!

What I have not gotten yet is Mother's Day cards. I tried to yesterday, but I just couldn't hack it. I swooped by them again today, but after the Garanimals incident, I decided to not go down that aisle. Pathetic, I know.

But I haven't totally lost it, like I have in the past, over these things... so that's positive, isn't it? Maybe avoidance isn't always all bad. No matter what, I will call my mom, of course, I just may not be able to actually get her a card. But I will try again.

After all, I do believe in Spring. The little signs of it - a bird here, a bud there - add up to be enough, even if snow comes the next day, to believe that Spring really is still on its way.  It will spring, sooner or later.