Maybe it's the trip coming up. I get anxious about travel, but this is worse than usual, and I'm anxious because of how much fatter I've gotten. The folks out there will say that to my face. I don't think they mean it the same way as someone here would, if they did that, but it's still hard. There will be more babies this time around. I don't want to disappoint my darling Ar, not that I ever seem to, so I know that's coming from me - not him.
Or maybe it was that horribly horrid dream I tried to write about yesterday, which got deleted.
Maybe it's that work is very difficult lately. And I'm doing my best to keep it all together, but it's so hard.
Maybe it's that everyone seems to be with child again lately. I'm so happy for people, but still just so very sad for us.
Maybe it's that statue I posted last night... stuck. Made captive.
Or maybe it's just me, completely losing my mind.
In any case, here I am once again, feeling like one step forward, two steps back...
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