Oh no, it's raining again

Into each life some rain must fall. As well as some snow, sleet, and hail... If you live in the upper mid-west all of that will probably happen within the course of an hour. In any case, though it currently looks like January outside, it is April. April is the time for April showers, which theoretically bring May flowers. Granted, this year the May flowers are likely not coming until July, but I'm trying to remain hopeful.

So, since April showers was this last week's photo theme, I thought about writing about it as a comparison to IF. It is National Infertility Awareness week, after all, but almost every post on my blog is about infertility awareness, I guess. How more aware can we be?  Besides, comparing IF to an April shower is the understatement of the decade. It's more like a monsoon.

Plus, I'm so sick of infertility. I'm sick of thinking about it and talking about it. Yet, the impact of it is always - always, always - with me. It would be unreasonable for me to not ever think or talk about something that has become such a game-changer, even though I am focusing on how to move forward. Infertility is a part of me now, whether I like it or not (in case it's not obvious, I don't). I'll be grappling with how to reconcile the impact and grief of it for a long time.

All while secretly (shhh!!) still hoping (against all hope) that the May flower of my choice might just start blooming.

Week 16 of Photo 52: April Showers

And all while trying (there is no try, do!) to remain open to other lovely May flowers that may arise. 

And even if May doesn't come around until July or October...