So, I guess I'm ready - the two week wait is almost over. There are only two more sleeps before I wake up Wednesday morning and POAS! (Maybe more than two sleeps if I get a chance to nap tomorrow, which is rather unlikely since I'll be at work... Hmm, I sure do like naps though!!)
A BFP (positive) sure would be nice to see!!! (Understatement of the century!!)
However, if it's a BFN (negative), I'll have to go back to see my RE, Dr. D, before we go on with any further treatment. I'm nervous about that because of both my weight and our lack of additional financial resources for IF treatment.
Wednesday is also a work day, of course. I've happened to avoid POAS testing on work days so far, but this time it happens to be a Wednesday, so what can I do?
Well, if it's a BFN, well... BFN days are very - very - bad days for me, of course... As such, on this particular work/POAS day, I am planning to call in to work for the first time in more than 10 years!
As a side benefit of calling in, a dear work friend, who is appalled that I have not called in through all these years, has assigned me the goal to call in sometime this calendar year. If I achieve my goal, she will treat me to lunch. Well, I may just be getting a free lunch out of her soon.... I guess that's the bright side. I do loves me a free lunch!!!
I actually talked with my boss about all this - the POAS timing stuff - because Wednesday morning is also "employee appreciation day" in my department, which means that the management team (of which I am one) is supposed to prepare and serve breakfast to the staff. That means I'd have to be there by 7:30, when I normally come in at 9 - and that I'd have to pretend all was well in my world... Hmm.
As I've mentioned many times, there's been quite the baby boom in my department. It's seriously all they talk about. At these type gatherings, it's an infertile nightmare. It's quite alright for people to talk about childbearing, breastfeeding, and diapers over coffee, reports, or, in this case, pancakes - but infertility is quite another matter. Weeping into their pancakes would probably also be frowned on. All of that is fine, really - I've accepted that this is just the way it is, and I can deal with it. However, if it's a BFN... I just can't do it.
Not true - I could do it. I could pull it off. I'm a good enough actress... but it would not be healthy for me. It would be painful and unwise. All the baby talk is hard enough on a good day, after all. I can call in to work one time in 10 years, if it's what is best for me.
Well, anyhow, it was my boss who suggested I just call in, because I can't really schedule the day off in advance since I was off today and Friday for Easter, and because the rest of the management team would think it's funky for me to suddenly take off on the big breakfast day.
I sure hope it's a BFP though!!! It's just really hard to imagine a BFP, having never seen one. I hope all my planning will be for naught; I so hope that!!
In any case, after I resolved the Wednesday/work/POAS issue, I feel more at peace. I was pretty nervous about all that, and I didn't want to talk with my boss about it, but I feel better having a plan.
I guess that's just the way we optimists with experience roll, after all.
Today I think I'll leave you with this beloved Easter hymn. It's certainly very Easter appropriate, as well as IF appropriate - and, well, come to think of it - it's pretty darn appropriate for every day of our lives!!!
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