The Homeland is calling...

Ar will be home tomorrow, and then early Monday morning we head out for a fun little holiday with my side of the family - up in northern Wisconsin! I love being back in Wisconsin. We take this trip almost every year, except the year we skipped because of IUI. That was two years ago - when we just started on the IUI road.

We almost didn't go this year because of money. Finances are pretty tight because Ar's business has been suffering a bit this summer - what with all the absurdly hot weather, and the absurdly worsening economy.... My cutie works his butt off; I just hate how much harder it is lately!!! Anyhow, we also went to Honduras in May and had to (unexpectedly) buy a new van this summer. Practically speaking, we shouldn't go. But, family is important.

The truth is, that this week with my family is the nicest time my family ever has. For some reason - maybe it's the change of scenery - it's just all more fun and relaxed on this trip. Normally, there's always a lot of weird underlying tensions, it seems. Anyhow, I like this trip with my family. It's good for us! And I guess it's one of those things that is just more important than money.

However, because X always equals infertility, there's always that shadow... my niece and nephew will be there - and they are awesome kids!!!! They really are!!! I just love getting to hang out with them. We live 5 hours away from my family, so I don't get to see them often enough. My niblings are growing up and I hate how much I miss out on, living here. But my job is good and secure - it's not something I can just leave, at least not in this economy.

My nephew turned 10 this summer, my niece will be 8 in January. I'm so proud of them, but honestly, it also makes me sad how big they're getting. Not only because I'm missing out on it, but because I really wanted our kids to grow up closer with them. Now, even if we have kids, there would be such an age difference. I know this isn't really a big deal, but it's one of those things, you know? I had always pictured our kids hanging out together on this vacation - making those precious memories with their cousins.... Don't get me wrong, the memories are still precious, but it is a little bittersweet for me, I guess.

But that's just the way it is. Life is bittersweet. Thank God that it isn't just bitter!!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up,a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-14)