Goodbye 2011

"And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast,
And been bow'd to the earth by its fury;
To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass'd
Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury -
Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,
The regrets of remembrance to cozen,
And having obtained a New Trial of Time,
Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen." (Thomas Hood)

Ar surprised me with breakfast in bed this late morning, after we both slept in. The menu consisted of: chocolate turtles and red wine!!! Hee!!! I love that man!!!! As we enjoyed our crazy little breakfast, we reviewed over 2011....

We spoke first of the difficulties - there were some steep difficulties, after all, notably, my escalated anxiety/panic, our continued grief over infertility - the gaping loss of that which I've never had... Also, a fair amount of difficulty in business... The loss of special loved ones, such as two of his beloved aunties, my friend Ron, and my friend's mom. We drank a toast to those that we've lost....

Then we talked about the loveliness of 2011 - and there was definitely loveliness, most notably that we are so happy together!!! That I faced my panic and sought help, and am doing much better... Our wonderful trip to Utila in May, other nice trips we took, our family and friends. Also, though business and finances are tough, we did make a decision/implemented a plan that should really make a difference financially - and we've learned from some of the difficulties. Last, but not least, that our recent decision to get back into fertility treatment has been off to a good start, at least, with receiving the good news about all of our counts etc.

It was a sweet and good time to review things like that. I'm not a believer in New Year's resolutions really, but it is a good time to review and reassess where we are and where we're going. I'm sure we'll speak more of our hopes and plans for 2012 over the course of the weekend - we've been talking about that the last few weeks already, actually - but the truth is no one can really know what the next day will bring, let alone the next year. That's ok. We'll take it a day at a time, going forward the best we can towards those goals that we set forth, knowing that we are in it together - no matter what. Adjustments will need to be made, there will be lovely and not so lovely times, there will be tears - there will be laughter - and there will definitely be much love. And God will be good.

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. (Romans 15:13)