Baby shopping and babbling

Ok, I wasn't actually shopping for a BABY, I was shopping FOR a baby.... or really, for Ar's cousin in Utila, Honduras, who is a new mom. She's a sweet and kind young lady, mind you, but it was hard to watch the evolution on Facebook. I did not hide her. I do hide most pregnant women, but there are a few who I keep, either because they're dear enough to me that I want to keep them, or because they're not obnoxious. In any case, I'm always happy for everyone, but it can still feel rather like torture at times... Anyhow, she had her baby - a little girl. It was hard, but I really wanted to buy them a few things. I haven't been baby shopping in quite a while. For everyone else, I get gift cards - easy peasy - no emotional breakdowns in the store... better for all parties. There are no such stores on the island, however, so gifts it was. I did make Ar come with me though... and then made him take me to $0.99 tacos at my favorite place afterward. I figured that would make it much easier. It did!!!

But seriously, why do baby clothes have to be soooooooo cute???!!!! They're full of little monkeys and duckies. Adorable!!!! I did have to avoid the Classic Pooh section, because that's my favorite. That makes me break down every single time.

I just can't help picturing what our child might look like wearing this or that. It's so hard.

Well, anyhow, I did it - it was my first time venturing into those aisles in, probably, a couple years... seriously!!! Avoidance is one of my greatest skills, after all. It's served me well, but I realize it is a blessing - and a curse.

Anyhow, we also picked up some vitamins for Ar. His counts were all good, but I suppose it can only help to have him get a little boost. We just did Men's Multivitamins.

I estimate that around this time next month, we should be getting to IUI time! I can't believe it.

I wish I could magically weigh much less, but I can maybe only weight 5 - 8lbs less, at most, I imagine. Christmas treats probably didn't help matters. Well, we'll just do the best we can, right?

I find myself feeling very excited and hopeful for this new year coming up. It feels odd that I've felt so stable and hopeful for a while now... I guess since we decided to pursue treatment again. There's something to be said for making a decision and pursuing it, I suppose. I do know that treatment and drugs will bring their ups and downs, but in the meantime, it feels good to be feeling so stable and hopeful - and excited!! Not in a crazy, frenetic way - but just a hopeful anticipation.

Oh, and, one of my friends, a very lovely person who I met on Facebook because of IF, and I are going to be IUI buddies... we're getting into this at about the same time!! Her for the first time, me, of course, for the second. Well, we decided we really need to buy fun socks (the same as each other) to wear for our IUIs!!! This just somehow seems fun and appropriate!! So here's what we picked:

Aren't they great? They're cute and adorable and colorful - and they're dinosaurs saying "RAWRRRRR," which is exactly what we are saying to IF!!!! Well, it all makes sense to us, anyhow....

It is soooo nice to have friends in all this now!! It's so nice!! I hate that anyone has IF, but what a blessing to have found people through this blog, and through Facebook, that I can relate to in this. Such a blessing!!! This only happened because I opened myself up to that. I took the risk of stepping out of my private hell, which was scary for me - but it's been a blessing!!! Thank God for camaraderie and gallows humor and hope!!!

I pray regularly for you few who I know regularly check my blog, and for my friends on my Facebook groups! I hope and hope 2012 is the year for all of us, one way or another.

Well, that's enough babbling -- for now...

Good night, sleep tight! ♥