Keep on keepin' on...

Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow!' (M. Radmacher)

July 16, 2012

From AF to Siberia

Sometimes I like to ask Dr. Google random questions that I already know the answer to. It's just a sick game I like to play. AF started yesterday and I can't stop acknowledging how much it ticks me off that I have to deal with this, even though I apparently don't get to have kids.

"It's almost that time of the month. You feel puffier than a marshmallow and your forehead breaks out in zits. Chocolate is the only thing that calms you down and prevents you from beating up that irritating guy behind you in math.

Why do girls have to go through this?

Well, for one thing, it's your body's way of preparing for pregnancy. Once you get your period, it means that you are physically able to become pregnant and have a baby – although you don't necessarily feel ready!

Periods happen as a result of hormones released from a gland at the base of your brain called the pituitary gland. These hormones cause an egg to be released. At the same time, the lining of your uterus (or womb) is becoming thicker – like a soft and spongy bed, ready for the egg.

If you have sex while everything is in place, you have a good chance of falling pregnant – unless you use contraception (like a condom). If you don't have sex, the egg does not get fertilized and the uterus lining starts to break down. The blood and tissue from this lining comes out through your vagina over the course of a few days – this is your period."(http://www.health24.com/teens/Your_body/735-1433-1436,14189.asp)

A good chance of falling pregnant - yeah right!!!

Anyhow, yes, occasionally Dr. Google does lead me to advice for teens. That's just how it is sometimes, when you're a forty-something asking silly questions like, "Why do I get my period?"


And yes, of course I already knew the answer. I also already know that the reasons for that evil old biddy, Aunt Flo, still exist regardless of my infertility. Still, it irks me to no end!!! I'm pretty sure all women hate AF, but infertility makes it all the more bitter.

Adding to the fun, here's the sequence of events for this past week: BFN, AF, EOBs.

Thursday was the BFN, Saturday was the start of AF, and today, Sunday, I opened yesterday's mail, which contained literally 23 EOBs from our insurance company. Boy, I can't wait to get the actual bills from the RE's office. We got a whopper of a bill already last week, but it was only the beginning, judging by all the EOBs. Well, that's just the way the cookie crumbles, I guess.

In completely other news, I went to the farmer's market today because Ar had his booth set up there today (it's rare for him to work in that sort of show, but he didn't have any of his more normal shows this weekend.) I hadn't been there in many years - it was fun to pop in. I went late, so it wasn't as crowded as it normally would be. Ar had to man his booth so I walked around alone, but was never far off from him. I enjoyed being there, but it sure made me wish that Ar didn't have to work so many weekends so we could do things like that more often - together. It was definitely a family type environment, lots of couples with their adorable little kids running about. I guess I don't have to tell you that is one of those things I was mentioning in my last post - all the reminders. All the "wish it could be us" moments. There's just no escaping them. Yes, yes - so many sweet, cute families enjoying a beautiful Sunday at the farmer's market... Sigh!! So wish it could be us. Ar and I are sweet, we're cute - aren't we? Ok, ok - he's the cute and sweet one, so he kind of carries me in those regards, but still, you get my point, right? It's bittersweet because I'm happy for people, and it's fun to see them enjoying the day in such a lovely place, supporting small and local businesses, but... well, yeah.

Anyhow, it is nice there. I picked up some treats for Ar: beets (not a favorite of mine), smoked trout, and basil for him to plant. I spotted some lemon basil and purple basil there, so I picked up some of those too, for fun. I don't really know what to do with purple basil, but thought it would be fun to try. Before I bought it though, I asked the girl selling it what the difference is between purple basil and regular basil. She said she didn't know because she doesn't plant or cook... I thought that was kind of funny, since she was selling it, especially when she offered for me to eat a leaf. I don't know why all that amused me so much, but it kind of did. Anyhow, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, which we've only recently joined the ranks of, I pulled out my Android phone and asked Dr. Google! Good ole Doc Google's been ever so helpful today, hasn't he?!

Anyhow, apparently purple basil can be used in pretty much anything you use regular basil for, but it has a slightly licorice taste. Ar loves to make basil tea, and of course I love to cook - and think basil is just lovely, so it'll be nice to try these new types of basil - even if we're a little late planting it. Hopefully it'll take well.

Ar boiled up the beets late this afternoon - I'll admit, they weren't too bad. After all, the few weeks I spent in Siberia taught me that I really, really love borscht, so why wouldn't I like beets?? Well, maybe it's partly because during that same time in Siberia, one time I thought I was biting into delicious red jello, but it was really some sort of gelatinous pan of beet something or another... Shudder!!! Nothing worse than biting into something, when you think it's something else completely. Ok, there's worse, but admit it - that is bad... Jello - beets, big difference!!! The smoked trout was awfully nice too. I only had a couple bites, because these were Ar's treats after all, but it was enough to also remind me of the time in Siberia when we had smoked omul on the shore of Lake Baikal (pictured below.) Siberia really was an amazing experience in my life - not just because of the food, but today's little treats sure reminded me of there!



Rambling thoughts today, eh?

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