Here's the thing I don't think I'll ever get over: it's just so freaking unfair!!!
Lately, it's newborn photos galore - and who can blame them? Seriously!! Not me!! Beautiful babies, proud parents... I get it. I totally get it. I'd be snapping photos left and right, if only it could be me too.
It's just that it makes my heart hurt like nobody's business. It always comes back to this, ya know. Maybe you don't, but it does. It's always, always, always two steps forward, four million steps back.
Photos of that baby in Utila... oh my gosh - they make me ache all over.
Newborns and excitement - somehow make me want to throw up.
Kids graduated from kindergarten....
Kids graduated from whatever.... I don't know. I just don't want to see anyone or anything anymore.
It's just not fair.
I don't know how to stop coming back to that. I kinda suck, don't I? I think I'm broken forever.
You definitely don't suck, Heather! You may be forever broken--but I definitely don't equate broken with ruined. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that was lamenting all the brokenness in her and around her. It helped her to know that we are ALL broken. Some of us in ways we don't share. Others of us in ways that are completely obvious. It is in all our brokenness that God becomes real and redeems our brokenness in the most unpredictable, but still remarkable, ways. I agree with Tracy, though - you are definitely not ruined. A beautiful, wonderful, passionate, loving, truth-seeking person is what you are! Love you!
ReplyDeleteAhh, thank you Tracy and Melissa!! I accept your love and hugs and am willing to try to believe you, instead of me, when it comes to thinking I'm not ruined. After all, you're both much more trustworthy than I am!!
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