All I have to do... is dream...

Just lately I've been dreaming about IF. Strangely enough, I rarely ever dream about it. I do have very vivid dreams, though - always have. Usually they're fun dreams - or just weird, or goofy anxiety dreams. It's rare for me to have terribly sad or scary dreams. But this week I've had three IF dreams already. Two were very similar to each other, where I was in this sort of large, industrial looking room - and a very pregnant lady was standing next to me, maybe three feet away. Suddenly, she went into labor and was soon giving birth - just standing there! I started screaming at the top of my lungs, "NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! You can't!! Not fair!!!! NOT FAIR!!!!" I was screaming and sobbing... Sobbing.... Sobbing! Suddenly I realized I was struggling in some sort of body of water - actually under water - and I was still screaming and sobbing. Though submerged and obviously completely soaked, I remember the feel of my own tears on my face... and knew I had to stop screaming so I could get above water. I struggled to the surface and saw the woman there with her baby, just standing there watching me.

I also dreamed that a woman in my office, whose partner is pregnant in real life (newest pregnancy announcement), was the one who was actually pregnant. In real life, I was beyond thrilled to learn that it was her partner who is pregnant - and NOT her!!! I was so not in the mood for yet ANOTHER office pregnancy. She's already the sixth in the office, who will soon be a first-time parent - but at least I don't have to actually see yet another pregnant person!! Anyhow, in my dream, it turned out that she lied and it was her - and not her partner - who was pregnant, after all. And when I found out - I was TICKED OFF, big time!!! I saw her getting coffee and looking six months pregnant. She was wearing the most hideous maternity dress - it looked like a mumu. In real life she never wears dresses, so that was weird enough, but this dream dress was truly awful. In my dream, she was going on and on to someone about her pregnancy etc - and I was getting more and more angry - finally I just started chucking plastic forks at her. Hard! I was pitching them at her by the handful! She just kept talking, like she didn't even notice.... Made me even more angry! Then I woke up ticked - and now I'm watching her carefully, in real life, for signs... just in case.

So... just some strange little dreams that made me feel funky, I guess. One probably doesn't need a doctorate in psychobabble from the University of Sigmund to analyze those dreams, but they sure left me feeling weird.

Gee, if dreams reveal character, I guess these ones don't say much good about my character, eh?

Well, anyhow, I sure hope this isn't a new trend. My life is full enough of other people's pregnancies, as it is. My dreams have been sanctuary. Don't turn on me now, subconscious!!!

On the bright side, I skipped department baby shower number five yesterday - as I skipped the four before it. But the leftover cake was truly fabulous! I don't even feel guilty that I skip the showers and then eat the leftover cake. I am a scoundrel!!!! Clearly, I don't deserve the cake! But I like it! This one was actually from a nice bakery. I figure, hey - they get to have children, the least I can get is a little cake. And eat it too!