It's so hard to believe, but the Christmas commercials are already in full force. Another one just came on, then my heart suddenly sank about five miles.
Last Christmas, I was so sure that we'd have a kid by this Christmas... After all, I was starting up treatment again soon - and surely the timing was right this time, right? Everything looked good, you know. Instead, now it just feels like another painaversary. Another reminder of crushed hope.
Instead, I'm watching everyone else around me living out my hope.
I think I'm done. I just - I just... I don't know. Why can't things be fair? What's wrong with fair? Barring that, I wish I could just forget that I ever wanted this.
Keep on keepin' on...
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