Tilt-a-Whirls make me shriek with a school girlish delight.
IF does not.
Early this morning, I went ahead and POAS. After all, it was CD 34 of a Clomid cycle and AF had not yet appeared. I knew better, really, I did. Aside from the fact of how incredibly smart I am and of how many times I've been down this road before, I knew better because my monthly pimple never lies. Still, POAS is what we do, so POAS is what I did. Of course it was a BFN. Then I went back to sleep and woke up a couple hours later to discover AF had arrived.
I swear that AF somehow, someway just knows... just knows and waits until one has even the smallest glimmer of hope. Mine was pretty small, but not so small I didn't take Clomid this cycle, and then POAS on CD 34, err, make that CD 1.
I'm pretty sure I heard the sound of evil laughter in the background.
But I haven't even cried yet this time. Maybe I'm all cried out now; maybe there are no more tears left in me after the other night... Two nights ago I literally sobbed into poor, wonderful Ar's chest for more than an hour, repeating one of my favorite refrains dozens of times, "It's not fair, it's just not fair..."
How do I get off this ride?
It isn't fair at all :( IPraying. Love you!
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