One week down...

...one to go!

I'm one week into the oh so fun two week wait. As you may have noticed from my last post, this last week was a bit tough. The weekend was ok, but I pretty regularly found myself on the brink of tears. They never quite came, but they were always back there.

Still, I enjoyed spending time with a long-time friend, who was in town. I also did some light reading, and took a long nap, and got some chores done. Church was lovely! All in all, I held it together, but I still have that dark cloud over my head. I'd surely love for that to pass on by!

Oh, also this weekend, in the blessing and the curse that is Facebook department, yesterday one of my friends wrote a status update offering to give away one of her children. Apparently the child was too active, so giving her away would solve that, you see. Several of her friends also offered to sell or give away their children. Oh, how amusing!!

For the love of Pete, seriously??? How wonderful it must be to be so fertile that they find it funny or cute to offer to give away/sell their children. Hilarity at it's finest, I tell ya. Ok, I know it's not intended to be offensive, and it's just a joke... but honestly, there's nothing more offensive to me!! It just makes me sick!! The things we all go through for the hope, for the chance of being moms... But for them, it's so easy that they can just joke about giving those burdensome kids away. Must be really nice to be so blessed that your blessings have become burdens!!

I get it... Parenting is tough, parents get frustrated and tired. I empathize with that, but I wouldn't joke about dumping my Hubby for not replacing the toilet paper, and I wouldn't joke about cutting off a leg because it hurts..... I stand by their right to say as they please - no matter how egregious I personally find it - but I also stand by my right to decide I no longer find it healthy to read things like that....

Anyhow, I'm already dreading having to POAS next week. I'll test a week from tomorrow (or is it a week from today already? Hmm, well, I mean Monday, March 12.) I'm actually supposed to test on Sunday of next week, but I'm going to wait because I have to do something next Sunday where I have to be top of my game - not emotionally compromised. If I get a BFN, which is likely, I'd obviously have a very hard time even being in the game, let alone at the top of it. So I'll wait till Monday. Ar and I will both be home that day and I'll be able to grieve, if necessary. Who knows, maybe it'll be celebration - in which case, I'd still prefer to wait for us to both be home and together!!

Against all hope (and all my feelings to the contrary), I will still hope!!