Photographer's choice and a confession

The Moon and I

The moon is full, and so am I.  

The moon, I imagine, never tires of shining.  

I, however, very much tire of it.

The moon lights the darkness, while I merely curse it.

The moon is gentle and soothing; I am angry and despairing. 

The moon is lovely, but I am hideous.

The moon is full, and so am I.

And, sadly, that is where the similarity ends.

Comparing myself to the moon is dumb.

An HJ awesome original, copyright 3/2013.  All rights reserved. ツ

Week 13 of Photo 52: Photographer's Choice, March edition

And now, for my confession: I'm terribly tired of being happy for everyone else. Isn't that quite possibly the worst thing you've ever heard? (Other than the poem I wrote above, that is?) It's horrid. The confession I mean, but yeah, the poem is really awful too.

I genuinely am happy for people, but sometimes only my head is... My heart is just sad. ARRRGHHHHH!!!!! I feel so conflicted - all the time. I can't let IF take away my ability to rejoice with others, especially those I love, but it's so, so, so incredibly hard. I don't know how to stop it. I'm just so tired of these struggles. Why does everything have to be such a struggle? I want to run away. I wonder if anyone would care?  (I would make Ar go with me.)

I am devolving. Probably time to start back with a therapist, I guess, but I don't really want to do that either. I wish someone could just completely reprogram me in my sleep. Do we have that technology yet?  

"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith." (Galatians 6:9-10)