As I've been mentioning, my mind and body seem to be wracked with anxiety. Of course travel always does that to me, amongst many other things. My left lower abdomen has been hurting like crazy since Wednesday, but I think it's gastrointestinal... it feels that way. I know anxiety can hinder that, so I'm assuming that's what's going on, as having this sort of crampy feeling is rare for me. I've been drugging up with whatever over the counter remedies I can find, but it's still bad - though there's been some improvement. Oh, I really need this to be better. I just want to be able to be fully there. On that tiny rock. In the middle of a huge sea.
Wow. I do get jittery just thinking about that... a tiny rock, in the middle of a huge sea. But isn't that just how it is, anyhow? I remind myself that God is also on that tiny rock in the middle of the huge sea. He made it all and is in it all.
Well, I stumbled on a few new blogs to follow lately, in my continuing quest to fix my life and mind on things that are good - not so much a rose-colored glasses good, but a, "Hey, life is hard, but it's also grand, and God really is good - all the time!!" kinda good.
I found a lovely post on one of the new blogs I'm following. I needed to hear this today: We are brave when we engage
After all, "It is hard to be brave, when you're only a Very Small Animal." (Piglet)
Life is hard. Sometimes more than others. Steps forward, steps back... but as the poem states, "We are brave when we bloom without guarantee the snow won’t come back." (Stephanie Spencer, Everyday Awe - if you haven't yet read the poem from her that I just linked above, please go do so.)
Of course, considering that it's currently snowing on May 3, that is doubly relevant. The winter of my heart is the one I'm most concerned about, however. This steps forward, steps back life feels awful - it makes me feel more like a failure... after all, just when I'm starting to take some steps and feeling a bit better, bam! What? I can't even move forward right? So... I appreciate those words, in particular.
Life is hard; life has been very hard. But it has also been grand. And God is good, all the time. May I not be afraid to bloom, despite the weather forecast.
Or to be like this little guy... out there enjoying the warmth, sunshine, and blossoming green one day (April 29), not aware that winter would just return two days later (May 1).
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| Week 18, Photo 52: Photographer's choice |
Well look there, I copied both of you. But those words are a good place for both you and I to meet today. Thank you again. I love your bug. And I am praying for a wonderful time away to soak in the warmth and love.
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